Dear God, I need to repair my relationship with my children. Only You know what is in my heart. Only You can understand how incredibly deep the wounds go for them, and me. You know I never intended or wanted the separation to be so long. I didn’t have any idea at the time the father and I parted that it would mean leaving my children as well. I have so much anxiety and pain associated with this I can barely function. I have no idea what the Avenue of repair is except to remind them often that they mean everything to me and I would do anything to heal their hearts. I just don’t want to push too hard or be a burden on their souls. Nothing I can say or do can ever change what they have experienced growing up without my presence but I need to find someway of assuring them , completely, that it was not because I failed to love them, or care for them. I could explode from the intense love I have for each one, then I multiply that by six and it seems impossible to comprehend the anguish they have experienced too. Please help me to raise my head, as lately I’m afraid to do that in case I encounter another of my children and fail to recognize them. I don’t want that pain for any of them. I’m so grateful that I was able to recognize Madison when I saw her, but I failed to assure her, as I wanted, that she was a miracle to me, and that , more than anything in the world, I wanted to keep talking to her. Please Lord, help me find the words today to write to her, and the other 5 , to let them know what’s in my heart so they can find peace. I am forever grateful that You have granted them a fair life and a healthy one. You are the magic and the magician and I know You listen and hear my prayers but I do need as many prayers in my corner that I can possibly get because my children’s wellbeing is on the line. Thank You. In Jesus’s name I pray these things. Amen.
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