Thank You For Your Prayers!

by Marianne ()

I tried to post online, but it wouldn’t let me, so I’m going to post my story here. I’m hoping that you can move it to the other page where everyone was talking about their experiences and asking people to pray for their husbands who are mentally ill.
As I read all of your stories, they mirror exactly what I am experiencing. It feels good that I am not alone, but I am so sad that we all have to live like this. God is so good and so gracious, he gives me a peace that passes all understanding. Although I have so much faith and I would never second guess the Lord or be angry because of my situation….. I definitely question why this is happening.
when I met my husband, he treated me like gold… Literally! There were a couple of tiny red flags here and there that he had some anxiety issues. He also was a very jealous person and that bothered me a lot. Aside from that, he was perfect! He treated me wonderful, respectfully… He was trustworthy and funny and everyone loved him. He had a way with words, that could make you feel like a million dollars.
Then one day it was like a switch flipped! This all happened in 2014. I would cry and cry, because the love of my life, who was so affectionate and loving, turned into this cold hearted monster. He lost his job after job and then finally was so crazy that we had to apply for permanent disability. That was a 3 1/2 year process and a complete living hell. He was the breadwinner with the big job, me a hairdresser who works two days a week! I had to become the breadwinner and get multiple jobs,. Uber driving, cleaning my church, cutting hair at home, in 2 Salons, taking any other job I can get such as, photography, wedding planning and I still could not pay the bills. I had to go to many charities and churches to beg for help. My husband was extremely abusive, not physically, but mentally. He would accuse me of all types of things while I was working, steal my car keys so I cannot drive
People who hired me privately. He would take my haircutting scissors, before I went to work. He was stealing our money, stealing our young daughters money that she got for graduation! He was always threatening to divorce me and telling people that I was a horrible person. I can’t remember all the things that he did nor do I want to. I know that all of you reading this get what I’m saying. I feel like I live with Jekyll and Hyde! I came online just looking for some thing to give me some encouragement and I found it here. So I just wanted to let you all know how grateful I am to have found this page. I know that this page is not super active, but everything that I was reading on here was very inspiring to me. I love my husband so much and I can’t understand how that can be after how he has treated me all these years. As I am writing this he is having a bipolar breakdown and in the basement. He has pretty much lived in the basement for the past three or four years. Please pray for my family and my husband that God will clear the pathways of his brain and make home a good man again.
I know he loves the Lord, but tonight he was mocking the Lord and saying that the Lord gave him this miserable life. He mocks the Lord, because he knows that it breaks my heart and it strikes a nerve with me. I usually go crazy and start screaming at him and telling him how God is not going to forgive him… But that is what he wants to do, get me all worked up and upset. So I just shut down and I pray for him, because that is truly what he needs. I don’t like bragging about myself, but all of us women here are extremely strong courageous and faithful women! It’s very hard living this life, but God will give us the strength. I believe the world will be coming back soon and his reward will be with him and we will be ruptured from all of the misery in this life! God Bless and Thank you for listening!

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