Salvation and healing

by Stephanie ()

I don’t know what to say or just how to word this pray but I will do my best. I have been married to my best friend since high school. It’s been 36 years now. In the beginning we were both unbelievers. But we both had been in church as children, we just didn’t know the Lord. When we married, we were married by a minister under God, but we still didn’t know God yet. My husband joined the Army, so we could get out of our small town and have a chance at life. But it didn’t go the way he wanted it too. Instead he was called to serve in Dessert Storm. War changed him. He was exposed to chemical warfare and saw nothing but bombs, explosions and death all around him. You would have thought that was enough for my husband to seek the lord and receive his Salvation, but it did not go that way. After he came home, he has with drawls, night terrors, and wanted out of the military. Through the years since being in Army his heart has hearden. He has become abusive with his words emotionally and mentally. I have had many many pregnancy since we have married and due to multiple pregnancy and miscarriages and abortions that were because in my husband’s eyes he wasn’t ready for children, we’ll my body couldn’t take anymore from the abortions, I ended up with endometriosis. So when the doctors finally told me I had to have a hysterectomy due to the endometriosis. I had a temporary surgery to clean all he could out of me and the doctor gave me one option left to have a child, before the hysterectomy. So I did infertility and one year later I had a daughter prematurely at 30 weeks. Our daughter came into the world a premie baby weighing only 2 pounds. I thought that having a child would change things for me and my husband, but unfortunately the unsteady roads became mountains between us. The problems and pains got worse. Now we have a daughter with a chronic mental illness Bipolar One with severe anxiety and depression. My husband and I did not even see eye to eye on how to raise our daughter, so our daughters mental has gotten worse thru the years. My husband has mentally abused our daughter with his words. In 2018 our daughter went manic from environmental stresses. In 2021 our daughter got pregnant during her mania. She thought that having a baby would give her a reason to live. She wanted something that would love her and she wouldn’t feel so empty inside. Our grandson has brought so much joy to us, but also brought burdens and trials our daughter did not understand. Our grandson is now almost 3 years old and is non verbal. He is loving and sweet. He too has some of our daughters mental illness. My heart aches with so much pain and torment. In 2010, I gave my life to God during a terrible tragedy. I found God and he opened my heart and my eyes to see the world in a whole new way. Since then, I have prayed and pleaded with god to save my husband and daughter. I have prayed for healing for our marriage, for healing in my home, in my family and between my husband and daughter. I feel like I pray, but nothing happens. I know the bible says that when one becomes a believer, that the believer covers the unbeliever, but I am not strong enough to be all God wants me to be. I am so broken mentally and emotionally that I can’t see light most days. The bible says that intercessory prayers can change hearts, homes, lives and bring brokenness to God to heal. Please pray for me, my husband John, our daughter Jordan, our grandson Noah. Prayers for old wounds to heal, old past doors to close and new doors to open. Prayers for healing for John and Jordan. Prayers for healing of our broken marriage. Prayers for God to remove the chronic mental, depression, anxiety illness from our daughter so she can be free to live. I am tired and don’t feel hope anymore. Please pray for joy, peace, and to feel God’s presence in my heart, mind and spirit. Please pray with God will guide me and lead me to be a strong godly leader for my husband, daughter and our grandson. I pray God will help me be strong for them and teach me how to lead them.

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