Heavenly Father,
My heart is heavy . My marriage is in big trouble. It’s crumbling and I think we are truly headed for a divorce. My husband is an alcoholic and has been since we married 45 years ago. He’s a mean drunk and over the years there has been physical, mental and emotional abuse in me and my children. I am Catholic and I always prayed he would change. There are many times when he can be so kind and sweet. However over the last 20 years or so our marriage has steadily declined and has gotten worse and worse after our children moved out and had their own children. I love to have the grandchildren come to the house and spend the night. We play games, have a special meal and I always let them stay up just a little late. They love it and so do I. However, he doesn’t want me to have them over and typically says they can’t come, which breaks my heart.
We’ve both been retired for about 7 years and we don’t want the same things anymore. I’m not sure we ever really did. We met in our senior year of High school and married 7 months later. Now I just worn out. I have seasonal depression, major depression and anxiety. My back, neck and knees hurt a lot. It’s so hard for me to get up and down the stairs and the long cold hours of darkness make me so depressed, so I desperately want to sell the house and buy 2 smaller ones. One here if he wants and one in a sunnier climate for the winter. This was something I thought we both wanted after retirement or at least we talked about wanting to do, but now he doesn’t want to do that. He wants to stay right here so he can have his garage to sit and drink and keep his toys.
I really need Your help God. Please make changes in my spouse’s heart. Heal his alcoholism and heal my heart. What he did this week I don’t know how to forgive. If it is your will for us to remain together. Please help us. Fill us with Your love and give us the strength to love and care for each other, and fulfill Your destiny. Bring us together again, heal the division, pain, emotional distance, and careless words. Over the last few months our marriage has deteriorated much more to the point that we that we don’t even speak. He upsets me so much that it’s hard to eat or sleep. The only time I can actually relax and take a deep breath is when he leaves the house or goes out to the garage to drink. Please ask God to give me guidance. I’m Catholic and don’t want to break my vows, but I don’t think I can take any more. At this point I feel like I need a miracle to stay. Please pray for me, pray in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and Our Mother Mary
—-Amen
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