I am hoping this way I found to relieve the things inside will help I am trying to stop calling council and the other places yelling, like Al anon. I know they are lurking to bring drugs and put some disappointment right up my face. I am going to be sober. I am abstinent 690 days from everything. Pure love going through my body and suffering daily in it. I am fed up. My Mother is an alcoholic an so is my brother and my Nana and Tata drink and I am so tired of being told no one will ever be proud of me. I would rather be adopted by a couple who would treat me all the ways a daughter would need to be. What kind of life is this? I have nothing. Nothing. My life is ruined my voice is ruined and people like college instructors seem horrifying and I do not deserve it. I am so upset. My Mother should give it up and let someone who knows my needs give it to me and keep going forever and Emma my Nana is an evil queen to so many women and offers nothing but a relationship from hell. I am sure this Christmas is going to be another suffering year of fake joy and family life.. Nothing real., I didn’t do anything wrong to anyone. They made their life so that there is not enough room for me to have a life of righteousness or room for me to live happily in the truth of the same respect. It is wrong. I found a way to seek prayer online and stay away from trying to get anyone to listen on the phone. I am not their loser rape case psycho circus entertainment person while they have a whole drug world.
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