i need you. i need your help. i have messed things up so badly i dont think i can fix it alone. i have ruined my relationship with you, and the ones i love. i have been lied to and told that i am loved by many men. but it was all a lie.all i want is to be loved and told i love you and not just to be told that to make me happy. i ish to find the one person who cant live without me, the man that will love me for who i am, love me for all my strengths and my weaknesses. i want a man who will tell me i look beautiful even when i dont think i am. lord i want to love myself. i want to be able to look in the mirror and not think that the world would be better off without me. that if i were to die it would be a blessing to everyone. i need you god. i need you to give me the strength to get what i need done. and be happy with myself. god i want to make my mom proud. i miss her so much i just want to make her pround to be my mom i miss her i miss her i miss her. please god send me a sign, a light of hope that will make me beleive that i can do anything. please help me lord you are my savior and the one holyness that can make my life complete.