I have not been able to understand this that this therapist has been able to have me yelling and reverting to a way of acting when I have no ability to be this way. I have done five years of therapy. When a person sits down and tells a therapist she is set out to do these deliberate things with her life and her person and makes the choice not to do certain things for good and makes that change then the therapist causes her to revert back to them that is different than if the woman is doing this by regressing. I am not able to say this is what has happened and I am asking for prayer because I am upset with the therapist for allowing herself to make use of all five years which should be an accomplishment to put me in turmoil and pain and a deliberate grief and circumstances that are very absurd and obnoxious and I have not understood why. I have yelled but in all I believe my child loves me and sees the battle in the yelling and knows me better and is upset with me. We were or I was told my husband died and have felt this is a lie. I bought a wedding ring for him and two wedding dresses and this is after proposing before to him and what are my son and I supposed to feel when he abandoned us suddenly and physically pushed his way out of our home causing pain in my arm? I did not deserve to marry a lie. I deserve for the man I married to have been completely legitimately an honest person with every intention to be a husband who will NEVER be domestic violent or adulterous with me in my life as a wife. I am alone. I am here with this ring and have had several attacks of someone or the devil out to ruin wedding items in my very own hands. And I think they want to do this to these items and sabotage me and I am not willing to allow all of that. I am pray9ing to propose the right way. The absolutely right way. If this prayer works I will be able to pay my financial aid money to the wedding proposal company and propose to him real because he is not dead and he will love me and never abuse me if I did. I deserve marriage in all the ways of life offering it to me right now where I sit at the weight I am at in the body I am in. I am not willing to let other women or men live their stuck up lives putting me down and hurting my feelings daily. I deserve for this to work and for me to be heard and used for a real marriage proposal to my husband and I paid the deposit once and they raised the price on me after giving me a refund, this is real life and any person can have love and live a gorgeous marriage and life of marriage and healthy loving reality. I will help my husband have this. I know he will want this. I am sure he is alive and not dead and wants to live this life I am talking about free of problems and violence and pain. We can do it together and live the marriage we want to have out until we die and take care of each other. I am sure he will break down the promise he can to make it right and make me feel loved and offer what I want at once and not let anyone take my honored right next to him. I am asking the Lord why this is not my life right now and to help me get there. I need to pay for my engagement ring, to go with his and the proposal and find him and make sure that he is there willing and this is the life the Lord found truth in us in our love now. Because others should not be able to stop us. And hold our life in any truth or hinderance as they did. I wish I knew my husbands heart and mind all the time and could be in reality and be fine. I am begging to allow the Lord to prove I am normal and gorgeous and that he loves ME. I am sure this prayer will reveal the truth.
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