Breaking Free

by A ()

Please pray for me, I wish to leave a toxic and potentially violent relationship. I am an alcoholic and have not had the courage to leave my partner who as early as a week into the relationship was showing signs of aggression, violence, obsessive behaviour with me and strange ideology of wanting to keep knives. Since being with this man I have been ashamed of the sexual behaviour between us and the boundaries that have been pushed in all areas of life. Pushing away friends and family, alcohol misuse, lying, financial burdens due to irrational life choices and living beyond means. I have been homeless 4 times in 7 months and still returned to this man for fear of what he may do to me if I leave him. I have ignored the advice of women’s institutions and authorities due to vulnerability, insecurity and loneliness believing I am loved by this person when I know none of it is love. I have tried to hand my life back over to the care of God but have failed to trust him. Please pray that my full faith will return and that God will protect eternally my family, mainly my mother and two sons and place a solid wall of protection around us, our emotions and health, our homes, educational venues and all possessions. That God will let no harm at all come to us. Please pray that I will regain confidence and knowledge of safety without living in fear and severe anxiety. Please pray that my need for alcohol is lifted and I can live the life I deserve for myself and family as I go through treatment. Please pray that all the right people will be placed around me to live a fearless, sober life, honouring the Lord and serving my family by taking on all my personal responsibilities. Please pray that God will give me an armour of protection and strength, the way he has given me back my life and forgiven me so many times. Please pray for my forgiveness for all I have sinned but specifically for my behaviour, putting this man first and hurting others by ignoring them and their needs and living as I don’t care about anything or anyone. My selfishness and loneliness have consumed me, pray that my guilt and shame are removed as I come closer to God and trust him. God Bless you for taking the time to read my situation. In Jesus Name, I pray all these things with you, Amen.

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