63 years ago at 5 months old, on thanksgiving day, it started. Seizures I do believe became life after my baby shots were given to me at 3 months old. A few times over these years, they did stop for a while, which never stopped the auras/warnings I would get at times when I was younger, or many times as I got older, when they turned into ”the worse seizures you can ever have & could die from them”. It was so bad that I had brain surgery at age 41, only to find out it only made the seizure pattern change a little but I still had the worse, ”grand mals” you can have. But before I had that brain surgery, 2 months before i went to a healing revival, where I knew this pastor as he knew me well, as he knew I was tired of having seizures for over 40 years in my life. So I and my parents & an aunt went there, when the pastor knew them as well, and I went forward to be healed. After a few minutes the heat I felt & hands laying on me, I knew I would not ever need surgery & that I was healed, but of course ”for me” that was not to had been as I went forward knowing that these seizures I was having was going to be history that GOD the I AM was going to heal me. Fast Forward>>>>20 years from that went by until my now neurologist wanted me to have a ”gadget” placed in my brain that it was going to control those hot spots where the seizures started from, while I not knowing what else I would experience from this device & I could not have the option to reset this device, but only they would have to do that. They never tell you with this device, you may be having brain chemistry like an ”’A I robotic person”’ might act in a human such as me. I was not going to give this doctor or anyone that power any chance to do to me. They think as does all of the world.. ”I have seizures, What do I know or sense that I have to come out of the rain ? Right, Sure,,.. That is why I believe in Psalm 118:8 & Psalm 32:8 when people want to rule over your life. So I asked my doctor, what other drug I can try that I have not yet taken & he told me XCOPRI. So I take this 50mg tablet as it is 3 of them, & now I have been over 2 years & almost 1 month without a seizure. << There's where I am after 63 years of a worthless life. At 63 everyone of my age is ready for or has retired living the so called ''good life''. Now I see how the verses of proverbs 14:20 & proverbs 19:4-5 really work. You have nothing, you are of no use to anyone & are despised & hated by this world, even in your own family as Jesus said, A man's worse enemy is from members of his own family. So How is it, when you have a condition that you never asked for at 5 months old, live with it all your life, as people know, ''He has seizures'',, we can not hire him, he's a risk to be around, no way find someone else, and that is all you get from life on this earth & the worlds rules & laws you have to deal with, that you are to live without the stress, but with assurance & joy while knowing according to Solomon that Money is the answer to all things ? & you have very little of it? So you are hated because you are poor & can have a seizure at that. It's not just seizures, but any brain condition someone may have like dementia or whatever, where people will never want to have you around them. That is the world we have today. It's why my mother will always be the most important person I ever have had in my life, besides Jesus Christ, as her life now at 92 has not been the best in the past 8 years. Both of us can not wait 1 second longer to see the rapture of Jesus come for his believers, but we know we do not control that, as a doctor thought he would maybe control my brain chemistry. Do you see what I mean ? I have been under all disapproval or approval & authority of ''others'' & living under their rules, while suffering with my lack of everything else, to where I have no family, & etc… that goes in connection with all of that, & the money to begin with that can make a big difference in how you live & what you have. Then comes the hate & rejections of everyone else. So be it if that is how I get to Heaven. I ask If I get to Heaven, How do they get there if they Judge Me as they do, reject me as any future employee to where I am nothing to them but a liability, while at age 63 I have very little and can not retire at age 80 if I live that long as no employer will hire someone over 63 because of healthcare cost & etc… Health care insurance companies ''never will'' cover a person with Epilepsy, so there you have it what my future of having a job after age 63 who has seizures or a chance of them. This is why I take ''excopri'' but to the world that does not matter. So my prayer is Why is it some people like me, are never accepted nor can get the means to have a successful life, as I and other are just here & we are expected to support ourselves & have the ''money'' to be included with everyone else. It hasn't happened for me in 63 years. I try to live by Romans chapter 12. Not easy to do 365 days a year. Also Romans 8 26-31 I try to pray as I do, but they never seem to be answered as I wish they can be answered. 8-26-31 as the ROMANS chapter & verses is my mothers birthday & she lives by those verses. All I ever wanted was Peace Of Mind, as I do not know even now as each second passes on IF a seizure may start up again after having over 2 years when 1 has not happened. The Drugs never heals anything, might control a few things in time spans, but I know God does heal, so drugs interferes with that happening, to allow it that I can go off ALL drugs & be healed by GOD,, plus I hate drugs since knowing I've been taking them since 7 months old & they have done nothing for me. Psalm 118:8 should be enough for everyone.
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