Feeling lost and lonely

by Bonnie ()

Father God, You have been so good and generous with me; granting me more than I really need. Since I decided to follow You, life has seemed more down than up. After four years of trying to understand how to live in fellowship with you, I’m exhausted. In spite of all the blessings I’ve received from You, I am empty; feeling lost & without You. I know that I am to live by faith & not feelings yet, the emotions I feel are real. Though I am trying to find You, it seems You remain very far away. My whole life is imploding on me. I see the results of living an entire lifetime running from You; angry because You didn’t seem to care about my heartaches & problems. But really, many, if not most of my problems were due to poor decisions I made and very poor responses to the actions of others. Lord, I am lacking maturity & a true knowledge of You. Though I’m in the Word, it doesn’t seem that I’m growing as I ought. There have been so many losses in my life & some of the worse have occurred to my children & grandchildren, for which I grieve heavily. I’m asking You to please take my heart into Your hands & possess it. I’m giving You permission to work in my life to bring the change You desire. I can do nothing without YOU & I don’t want to ever be without You in my life. I want to learn how to surrender everything to You & give You free reign. Because only in You will I find true peace & joy. Examine my heart & mind; know my anxious thoughts, see & remove those wicked ways in me. Please cleanse me & restore in me the joy of Your salvation. You are so very good & kind. Grant me that I should love YOU above everything & live faithfully for You, no matter the cost. Help me, Father, for I am so weak. Please forgive me for my many sins. I love You the best I know how but I know it’s very, very imperfect. Teach me what it is to truly love & be loved as You love. In Jesus’ sweet name, Amen.

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