What have I done ?

by Susan ()

I have been abused my whole life mentally physically and emotionally and sexually. I have four children A girl 36 and twin boys 34 and the youngest is 26. Not one of them talk to me except to yell and call me names I can’t even print. My oldest only thinks of herself.. My oldest twin is a Major Alcholic and blames me for his entire life. I don’t drink but his father does, and abused me. I left my husband. My youngest son I don’t know if he is dead or alive. I remarried and had our youngest child 26. Her father left me in the middle of the night… I had two major surgeries and he was addicted to pain medication. He went to live with Our daughter who is now pregnant. He did not support me for two years. I filed for divorce. I won alimony and he was supposed to get a life insurance policy. It’s been five years still no policy.Lord what did I do that out of four children now adults, think they can yell curse and say dig race full things to me. I never laid a hand on my children. I thought if I did I would turn into my mother…I thought I was a good mother, not perfect I made mistakes no one is perfect.. I looked deep within myself…taking responsibility for all short comings I am deeply depressed I have no one. I’m basically a shut in loosing myself. Just taking up space. I pray at night for God to take me and spare someone else..I give my broken family to our lord butI pick it back up. How do I leave it with him? I’m lonely I’m tired I feel like a failure.If my own children don’t talk to me, who will??

Leave a Reply for "What have I done ?"

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *
By posting your comment, you agree to the submission agreement.