Trapped in Toxic Relationship

by renee ()

Dear Father God, I’m unsure what to do. I feel alone and afraid and can see no end to this tribulation.
Is it the consequence of bad decisions I’ve made? Please forgive me.
Is it for the good of someone else? Give me wisdom.
I can see no hope of change although I want desperately for this person to be saved. I have done what I believe is my best to share Christ in a gentle way by words and actions.
I feel this person has the demons of hate, blasphemy and alcohol and it has brought a dark scary cloud over our household.
He says he is unhappy here but currently depends on my family for even transportation so his leaving appears to be impossible and no more than talk at this point. He moved in when my father passed saying dad had asked him to take care of me and mom. I doubt it. We were in a dating relationship and he was entrenched here before I learned this side of him.
There isn’t anything physical between us which angers him and I get accused of unmentionable things even though I have stated my beliefs.
He says I will never be forgiven for calling the police he was verbally abusing my 86-year-old mother while drunk. He didn’t go to jail, just was told to isolate himself and sleep it off. I was so terrified I was shaking uncontrollably. Yet I am to blame for betraying him. His solution was that I physically take control of him but I am no match for him. I have no experience dealing with drunkenness and felt it best the law intervene as it was escalating.
Basically, he is always right and I am always wrong in a battle of good vs evil. Although it is not persecution like other Christians suffer, I feel it nonetheless and never know when the switch will be flipped.
I need rescue Lord! I’m sorry to be so helpless. I read the words of David and wish I had a cave in which to hide from my enemy.
Come soon Lord Jesus.

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