Thoughts of ending it all!!!

by Eddie Colbert (Colorado)

The prayer that I just read, “Please Forgive me for Killing Myself”, is exactly how I feel and is where I am at in life. I am 44 years old and have nothing. I live with my parents. I have been to prison many times. I went to college many times to no avail. Nothing ever gets better but just gets worse! I have the mark of the Beast( social security number) that now hinders me. I accepted Jesus and yet went back to being an awful person sinning all the time. I don’t know what God wants with me? Praying is a joke. I feel like there is no God sometimes. Anyway, I am in trouble again with the law and I just do not want to deal with it. Maybe I am crazy or just weak in the mind but I do not want to go on anymore in this screwed up world(earth). If I kill myself I hope I can get a second chance if and when Jesus comes back. I am tired of this life and feel like I am just living a lie. Help me God. I have given up all hope I am just living. I am hollow inside and feel just hopeless!!!!!!!!! Help me please. I think this is what you want??? Is it? Will you give me a second chance? Will you let me go to Heaven???

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4 comments for “Thoughts of ending it all!!!”

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  1. God Bless

    Don’t give up just yet. Jesus and God promise good things to come. Just please hold on faith. I pray to Jesus Christ and God that you make it out stronger then ever before. Turn from all evil, preoccupy yourself by doing good deeds through Jesus Christ. Don’t end it all, God and Jesus need another warrior to help fight the battle between good and evil. You just need to pray to resist all temptations. Its hard but most definitely possible. Always have Philippians 4:13 by your heart, “I can do ALL things to Christ who strenghteneth me.”

    In Jesus Name I Pray

    Amen

  2. All for the Glory of God !!

    May the Lord grant you peace and his love

    You can turn all evil into good by offering

    Your suffering to Jesus on the cross through our

    Blessed mother Mary, refuge of all sinners

    You can save many souls by uniting your suffering

    To Him on the cross.

    Pray an act of constrition and the divine mercy

    Chaplet. He will hear your cry. For I am the

    Greatest of all sinners and he has heard my cry !

    He came to save the sinner !!

    Glory be his Name for Heavens and are full of his Glory!!

    Simple prayer :

    Jesus, Mary, Joseph I love save souls !!!

    Praise him in all seasons!! For he is the God of

    Of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob !! Be silent under the foot

    Of the cross and you will hear his voice

    Open the bible – pray the palms

    O Lord and Master, I am unworthy both of heaven and of earth, because I have surrendered myself to sin, and become the slave of worldly pleasures. Yet, since you created me, and since you can shape me as you want, I do not despair of salvation; but made bold by your compassionate love, I come before you. Receive me, dear Lord, as you received the harlot, the thief, the tax collector and even the prodigal son. You love all people, so pour out your love upon me. Lift from me the heavy burden of sin, cleanse every stain of unrighteousness from me, and wash me white with the waters of holiness.

    I love you through Jesus Christ

    Do not despair for this is what satan wants you to do – reject his liesO Lord and Master, I am unworthy both of heaven and of earth, because I have surrendered myself to sin, and become the slave of worldly pleasures. Yet, since you created me, and since you can shape me as you want, I do not despair of salvation; but made bold by your compassionate love, I come before you. Receive me, dear Lord, as you received the harlot, the thief, the tax collector and even the prodigal son. You love all people, so pour out your love upon me. Lift from me the heavy burden of sin, cleanse every stain of unrighteousness from me, and wash me white with the waters of holiness

    O Lord and Master, I am unworthy both of heaven and of earth, because I have surrendered myself to sin, and become the slave of worldly pleasures. Yet, since you created me, and since you can shape me as you want, I do not despair of salvation; but made bold by your compassionate love, I come before you. Receive me, dear Lord, as you received the harlot, the thief, the tax collector and even the prodigal son. You love all people, so pour out your love upon me. Lift from me the heavy burden of sin, cleanse every stain of unrighteousness from me, and wash me white with the waters of holiness.

    Amen.

    Love you through Jesus Christ – do not despair for this is what satan wants of you do not believe the father of lies !!

    Remember O most loving Virgin Mary that never was it known in any age that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help or sought your intercession was left unaided, inspired by this confidence, therefore I fly to thee O Virgin of Virgins my Mother, to you do I come, before you I stand sinful and sorrowful, do not O Mother of the Word Incarnate despise my prayers but in thy mercy graciously hear and answer them,

  3. from the right side of the tracks reaching out

    As I read your prayer and need for help I want you to know my prayers for you are strong and I’m here to tell you if you allow him in and strong at not going back to your old life he has forgiven you. I’m really new to this type of site and my words may not be in correct prayer terms but our Lord isn’t caring about that. . I have been thru a crazy four years where I was a person, on right side of the track so to speak …one day on my way to see my boyfriend three min away from my home halfway to his a person that had been living his entire life and his passenger girlfriend on the very bad side of the track were out heading home while on their bad path pot, opiates and alchoal in both while he had been running from the law for 6 years hit me head on. I, in a full size 1500 Suburban, they were in a very old grand am. Myself, going 45. Them 64. Needless to say this ended not well for anyone. Her, I watched struggle and fight for her life as I was on top of them and he, just scratched and some bad bruises … He was ok enough to leave hospital hours later to go to jail, while waiting in jail because of this event he caused while with warrants, felonies before, vehicular homicide they for some reason let him go to her funeral as they just 2 weeks before on my birthday oddly on that date had a baby, and a dr. Apt. He had later that same day. He ran! I of course in the last will be 4 years this May was left very angry, bitter, left with night terrors, panick attacks for driving. Riding, terrified of losing someone to what I watched, wanting to die, I didn’t care anymore. He meanwhile got found, and put in prison for 3 years minimum. And I was lucky enough to have a wonderful family. Year later a husband that was /is (but we’re fighting for our marriage) because I Wouldn’t allow God in to heal me because of all my anger, terror, now major health issues brought on by accident, insecurities, jealousy etc. He held me every night to get me thru and I pray the Lord allows and gives him strength to come back and now have a Chace to live this world with this wonderful woman he married but the best version to love him because I had no strength to keep evil away and he loves me with all his heart but took his 17 year old daughter and felt he can’t fight no more. Until this point that I obviously thankful to hit which I so humbly pray Lord will help bring him back to see this and let me absorb his now mental pain. My entire point is. .. I have not only been able to drive a car without attacks, not go as crazy with worry for my family on the road, and hating and wishing only the worst and anguish for this man that 4 years prior I felt to everything from myself and my family to praying that God heals him, helps him, me, Now I HAVE forgiven him and don’t have the hatred. I am in more anguish over my marriage but, after seeing what and only after totally handing over my life to God with only after every method in my mind everyday good and evil for 4 years fighting to want to be killed, kill myself anything but here except during every night he held me. To full faith that he will heal and come back to me and reunite. I’m not having anymore bad wreck visions, night terrors only now long sad crying missing my husband nights but with a pure hate free heart. So if I can forgive what a person did to me and my family emotionally and physically torture myself and my family for 4 years can forgive. Him, I KNOW that our Lord is crazy forgiving, healing and then only then will you believe when you forsake yourself over to him. I pray for you so much that I came on here looking for prayers to help me get strength and to help me save our marriage to never doing anything like this writing you this book. You are on the right path to finding yourself here. Please fight, please believe and I pray this story that I felt very compelled to write helps you see how awesome that prayer and surrender and our Lord works . God is with you.

  4. Faith

    Good morning Eddie

    The Lord needs you But he needs you

    Here on earth

    Please go to a Catholic Church

    See a priest I do not know if you are

    Catholic but that does not matter

    Please go to church each Sunday

    The fact that you are writing

    And others hear you and pray for

    You shows that the Lord hears you

    Look up the prayer “prayer for Union with

    Jesus”

    My prayers are with you

    My brother

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