I never want to act on lust but sadly i find myself doing it anyways after few days. And ive gotten so full of shame and guilt after letting god dowm a thousand of times so i am suicidal because of shame. Ive felt free then month later i betray him and feel so far away. Yet week before felt holy spirit got physically healed and i still turn my back on him and fall into my flesh and wordly things my phone games etc