Everyone else is able to open their hearts and surrender their wills to get healing. I do not know how to surrender. No one can tell me how it happens or how to do it or anything. I took time off work to recover from a meth addiction but I feel pressure to go back to work because I’m running out of money. How can I know that I am waiting on God or wasting my time? I wanted to really get healed and I felt his healing for a bit but I do not feel him anymore. I did not change anything about my behavior. Is He done healing me? I still know I will relapse if I go back now but I am in tears about my inability to know how and be able to surrender.