Still severely struggling

by El ()

I have been praying for years as I struggle through an emotionally abusive marriage that I have been trying to end. I have a lot of fears as I will be turning 60 this month, have no job or money, and a teenage son with a history of anxiety and depression and emotional regulation. I need to end my marriage but I have too many fears to move forward. Although I had hired an attorney several months ago, she has not been helpful or provided good guidance and I must now find the money to hire a new attorney but I have too much fear and anxiety to retain someone new and move forward . All of these fears and emotional damage from this marriage us keeping me from moving forward in a healthy way for myself and my son. My husband is very unreasonable and unfair and only puts himself first. I need the strength and the courage to conquer all of my fears and know that my son and I will be OK. People tell me we will be OK but my son has a history with mental health issues that leaves me very fearful for his well-being and future if I move forward with this divorce. I feel that I have been a good and God-serving person all of my life, and I am so consumed with depression, anxiety, and fear, despite therapy and medication, that I don’t know what else to do but continue turning to God. However I do not feel that nearness with my God or that he is helping me find my way, So as guilty as I feel to admit these things, I do need help with prayer from all of you out there in the universe. I just want peace and for my son to be OK and continue in college and be healthy and happy. Thank you. God bless.

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