Standing for my marriage

by Brandon Davis ()

Dear Lord and Friends,
On 10/24 my wife and I will be celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary. Well let me correct myself, I’ll be celebrating. On 9/11 my wife vocally informed me that after a 9 yr relationship and 6yrs of marriage.. she wanted a divorce. Now previously during heated debates, my wife would threaten with divorce. After begging and pledging, or committing to the demands of my wife, she would always reconsider. This time, instead of going back and forth, I agreed. When I inquired to why my wife wanted a divorce she stated that there was just to much pain to move forward. In conversations that would follow, I came to understand that my wife still holds on to past hurts and pains that she hasn’t forgiven me fully for. The seeds of unforgiveness have sprouted and have taken hold of my wife’s heart. She see’s from a victim’s perspective and takes no accountability for her own actions. She understands that I love her, but feels that there is better out there. What makes matters worse, is that we just signed a new 1yr lease on our house. So we technically will have to live with each other for another year, if we don’t want to pay to break our lease.
After a hard 2019 that was filled with a miscarriage and the loss of a daughter.. I decided to seek help, hoping that God could spark change within myself that would help to revive my marriage. I went to counselors and even started reading books, but my wife’s heart was harden. Since stating that she wanted a divorce, I’ve decided to begin the journey of standing for my marriage. This is one of the hardest undertakings that I’ve even agree to.
On this journey, I’ve realized a lot. I see know that I’ve been trying to please my wife within my own power trying to do what only God can. I also understand that I haven’t been completely honest with myself or with God. I realize that in order for my marriage to be redeemed, I have to let God change her, but most importantly.. there are some much needed changes that are needed within myself. I’m far from perfect, and I openly admit it.
Lord, I love my wife dearly. Though I want her to recommit and work through our issues, I’m more focused on you truly healing her heart and her brokenness. I apologize and repent for the role that I played in my damaged marriage. Lord give my wife an undivided heart and place in her a renewed spirit. Take her heart of stone and give her a heart of flesh. Search me O Lord. Cleanse my body of any unrighteousness. Lord give me the strength to love my wife unconditionally. I pray that my wife has a Damascus road experience. As I stand in the gap for my marriage, recognizing that we are one flesh, I pray for forgiveness of my wife’s sins. Forgive me of my sins as well. Lead and guide us. I also pray for others dealing with turmoil in their marriages. Lord, your word says that you Hate Divorce, so I’m asking that you redeem our marriage. I fully except the burden of standing, realizing that my marriage may come to an end, but knowing that you will never leave nor forsake either one of us. So to that I give you the highest praise. I thank you that in your word you said that as long as I have faith the size of a mustard seed, I can speak to my mountains. I speak to the mountain of divorce, separation, pain, and strife.. Enemy take your hands off my marriage. Remove the vail from our eyes. I will trust you always Lord.
In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

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