Thank you for taking the time to pray for me. I have come to the realization that I have a hardened heart. I became a believer 8 years ago and have believed upon Jesus Christ and him alone for salvation. Repenting and turning to him. I made mistakes regarding my pride and a relationship I was in. Long story short, I sinned bad and when covid hit I hid my sin from my church. I used covid as an excuse not to go to my church family because I was ashamed of what I did, and I also felt like I was wronged (even though I wasn’t). I never stopped believing upon the name of Jesus but over the past two years, I was drifting away. Serving myself and praying for what I wanted instead of submitting to gods will. By his grace he recently woke me up to the circumstances that I’m in. Sin has caused my heart to no longer weep. I have grieved the spirit of god and for the past month I’ve been battling to continue in the faith. I found a new church family and am in the word regularly again as well as praying constantly. I’m afraid I went too far and that god no longer will forgive me. I have repented of all my actions and seek Jesus all day. I need my heart to be softened. To worship god in spirit and in truth. I miss having a burning for the word and holding every thought captive to Christ. I know that god chastens those whom he loves, and I know that this is going to be a process that takes a while, but I would greatly appreciate your prayers. I’m in a horrible position (that I put myself in) and it almost feels like I can’t get out. I’ve been having demonic attacks and I’m very scared and have little strength left. I miss looking at the cross and weeping. Being convicted of my sin, and seeking the kingdom of heaven first. I earnestly pray that he change me.
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