Heavenly Father,
I thank You, Lord, that You have made yourself known to insignificant people like me. I thank You, Lord, that You have poured Your grace and mercy on my life, the life of my daughters, my sons-in-law, and my grandchildren. I pray that they will lead lives abiding in Christ and in a manner that honors and glorifies You. Father, You know my husband has given in to sexual sin and immorality for many years, and that upon discovery of the depth and scope of his sin, my walk has been shaken to the core. In grace You revealed to me earlier this year that I felt that You too had betrayed me. What a lie! You allowed me to confess this blasphemy and repent from it. However, many times I have felt distant and alone. Therefore I must ask You to examine my heart and reveal hidden sin in the most hidden areas. I certainly have not respected my husband like You command a wife to do. In my pain and distress I have used words that should have never been uttered. In my trauma I kept reliving what he had done and wanted answers as to why. Yet the answer was always in front of my eyes: sin. In Your mercy, You answered my prayer that he would surrender his life to Christ. It has been a long and painful journey. Yet I know that everything he did, he did it in Your sight—and it crushed Your heart even more than it crushed mine. You were present; I only discovered the videos, the text messages, and emails. Only the Living God of Israel could raise beauty out of these ashes; only Jehovah Rapha can restore what the locusts have eaten. Father, I know that Only You heal the brokenhearted and bind their wounds, please help me appropriate this truth in my life that I may sing Your praises. Lord, restore onto me a heart on fire for Your Son instead of this mauled muscle in my chest. Please grant me the gift of true repentance. Lord, restore my husband to be the man You created him to be. I pray that he will love You with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. Then I will know that he can love me, but first I need to see him thirsting for You and Your Word. Father forgive me for stumbling so many times during this journey. Thank You for my good Shepherd rescuing me every time I have fallen in the mud. To You be all glory and praise. In Jesus’ name. Amen!