Relationships

by Arlene Ram ()

This such a big problem that I don’t even know how to handle it anymore. I don’t know how to face it or even know where to begin. And I blame my mother for what she has done to me and my life and what it is making people do to me. When I look at the big picture I don’t even know where to begin to make it right. I don’t know how to stop it or change it or turn it around the right way. And my family won’t listen to God if it’s my prayers from me telling them. I am gifted and special and they don’t see any of my good qualities. My mom used the mental health to fix it and that has not fixed anything. I don’t know how I will ever get independent. Especially from disibility for twelve years! Please help turn this whole big picture around cause I can’t do it. All I wanna do is sleep to get the worry off. Instead they use the me and My family has not seen or accepted the light that is sent my way for me or by me for me. They just use the people that are trying to help me to make them not be there for me but to be there for them and give them what they want and they wanna put walls around me to shut them out so they cant know me or find me. This such a big problem that I don’t even know how to handle it anymore. I don’t know how to face it or even know where to begin. And I blame my mother for what she has done to me and my life and what it is making people do to me. I don’t know how to stop it or change it or turn it around the right way. And my family won’t listen to God if it’s my prayers from me telling them. Please help turn this whole big picture a little round cause I can’t do it. They wanna put walls around me that keep me from knowing the truth of who I am but they wanna listen to those people that show me who I am and use it for themselves and shut me out from them . They want people to think that I’m a child but I am a woman that has had many troubled relationships because of my family. And they treat me like a child and dont let me be a woman. And they don’t let the people that know me know me and let me be me. And help me be more mature and stronger. They keep wanting to change me or the people that know me so we don’t see eye to eye. And my family are like leaches to people that are helping carry me and supporting me and they wanna lean on them but not let them help me the way I need it and they dont wanna answer to them all the way if it involves God. But they wanna interfer.

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