Relationship Madness!!!!!

by Susan ()

Hi,
I really need help on this one…i feel like I’m going insane.
Boyfriend named X and I have been together some 20something years and we have literally been through it all, i moved into his hm with his family many years ago and i got pregnant and we discussed it and he said we were not ready for kids so we had the pregnancy terminated, twice. We were happy and inlove.

While he was a baby, his father filed for his brother to adopt him as he was an American Citizen and wanted the best for his son.
He decided he was going to move to Florida and live with his brother in there uncle’s home. We were still happy….he would visit every now and again.
In 2008, my best friend was murdered, i was the last person she was with before she was murdered…she and i were on the road and she got a phobe call saying she should come home and she told me to take her home but i was reluctant because of who the call came from. I expressed my reluctance and she said take her home so i did. A couple hours passed and i got a phone call asking me to go to the police station, there was an incident. I had to identify her body. He beat her with his gun, abused her all over her body, threw her over the balcony. I could not handle all that so i ran away to FL but not to Mr. X, i stayed with my cousin and his wife. I was very depressed and i started drinking and smoking marijuana and i got drunk one night and had sex with another man and i got pregnant. I was still living witj my cousin until i got really sick and decided to come home to MY family. They welcomed me with open arms pregnant and all. I was home one day and my sister was calling but unable to get me so she called my dad and told him to come to they house and chk on me…when he arrived, i passed out and was unconscious in the bathroom. He rushed me to the emergency room and said if i waited any longer, baby and i would have died. I had eclampsia. Sister called bofriend x to inform him of the situation with me and he took the next flt out to come to see me…he saw the baby and told me to put the his name on the birth cert as his father and he has taken care if that child from day 1 until today…i will never take that from him.

Years passed and we talk but he was changing towards me. Always abrupt with me and disrespecting me and my family. Anyway, both he and his brother came to jamaica for vacation but they also brought an eviction notice to show their grandmother exactly what their uncle is doing to them.
Boyfriend X says that he is staying at his mom until he finds a place…
Its now summer of 2019 our son goes to visit him for the summer holiday only to find his father in an apartment with another woman sleeping in the same bed. He and her decided since our son was going to be there, boyfriend x and her decided to get a bigger place with 1 bedroom.

He came to jamaica on dec 10 after not seeing me for about 2 years, he comes to my family house and while laying in my bed…his phone kept on ringing so i asked him who wad calling, he told me some man in miami that asked him to chk out a few things…dec 29th when he was drunk, amongst his friends, he looks at me and told me he found this girl in miami who motivates and encourages him to build his life…then he picked up the phone and called her…in front if me.

The following day i asked him about her and he laughed and said yes, he is living with her but i must understand, he’s doing it for our son and i?

How can i allow him to disrespect me?Am i wrong? I need some help.

He is my life…i built my entire life around him and now he’s just walked out and didnt even say anything to me? Am i such a bad person? Or am i as worthless as he says i am?
I need help please….

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