I have had treatment resistant depression for 20 years now. I am 3 weeks sober from meth but I feel a strong pull to use again. I want to feel ok for a little bit. Using seems to be the only way I have been able to find any relief. I want to quit completely but I can not work or do anything without it because I get so depressed. I have been waiting for my suffering to end most of my life. I just want an answer to 1 of my prayers. I just want to feel like everything will be ok. I do not want to be alone the rest of my life and I do not want to deal with this depression anymore. I am starting to lose hope that I will ever be healed. I do not want to start thinking that way because I know it will drive me back into addiction but I can not wait in pain anymore.
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