God I gave up on life a long time ago. Since that very first moment you saw me at eight years old. I gave up on life, a long time ago.
Since then my life has been a disaster. Every day I feel closer and closer to killing myself. I have tried so many times and no longer appreciate what it feels like to live, and feel alive. God, I gave up on life a long time ago. And I pray for faith today. Faith and hope so I can change my life all together, and begin loving myself and feeling a bit more important.
Faith for all the people who have no faith, and go through life the same way I do. Faith and hope for change, and a hug even tomorrow if possible. I think I’ve been craving for it since that very first time. Tell me I can go to therapy, and tell me without having to die, I can slowly start getting farther and farther away from myself.
If you love me you will hear my prayer today, and I know that you love me so I should be confident you will help. Start showing me good things tomorrow so I can have more respect for myself and life. And if things get hard, and there is worse to come, make me smart enough to be sound, and make all the right choices from now on.
I know you can hear my thoughts. So you’re probably listening to all the things that go on in my mind. God help me please, and tell me things will get better. Even if they don’t. I think I just to hear it. Faith. The biggest thing that I lack, and at the same time the most important one.