I found the love of my life-I have shared my most happy and sacred memories and moments with him. I would not trade those times for anything in the world.
I found the person who saved me, who made me laugh, who with one smile or wink made me melt, when he held me I felt like there was no one in the world but us two, I fell in love with him more and more each and every single day to the point where sometimes I thought my heart would explode.
I made an honest to God mistake when entirely too many drinks were involved – I became a person whom I didnt even know existed inside of me – I lost all sense of memory from my overdoing it – never been so scared because I didn’t know that it was possible to do something so terrible and not be able to remember it – I am not sure why – or how – I kissed another man in front of my boyfriend, my soulmate – this other man was his best friend – I dont know if in my state I thought it was my boyfriend? I just dont know – it is so out of character for me – I dont even look at other men, I dont see myself with anyone else, I would never want to..
I betrayed his trust in me, I betrayed my trust in myself…It will be a long road to recovery for both my boyfriend and I – I have been praying to God for strength for us both, for forgiveness for what I have done, for courage to face all that have in a sense “crucified” me for my mistake, and for the self control to never take drinking that far again.
I ask that anyone who is willing please help me pray, please help the Lord mend both of our broken hearts, please let us go back to where we once were, and please help me to find some peace of mind in the damage I have caused upon both of us.
Every day on my way home from work when I passed by my church, I would say a prayer untilI reached home – not a day went by (before all of this) where I didnt take the time to thank God for bringing my boyfriend into my life, for making me the happiest woman in the world…in a way, I also feel like I betrayed God a little bit too..
Please help me pray to God for his forgiveness as well.