Dear Heavenly Father, Jesus and The Holy Spirit,
Father, I come to you today as a child would come to his father and ask for a favor.
Please restore my covenant marriage with my wife, Heather.
I’ve really screwed things up. I had a really bad day and was stressed out and started yelling at her and it has all just escalated from there.
I made the decision to file for separation and file for divorce. SInce then I’ve been suffering, in my own self-made prison. I tried to move on and start my life over, but it didn’t feel right.
I was in Florida with the National Guard and started having chest pains. So I went for an EKG. They said that I needed to destress my life. So I ended my other relationship and got with my lawyer about getting the
DSS investigation that I was involved with finally moving so that I can see my kids again.
When I finally got to the point that I had some answers, I went to go and see Heather. That’s when she revealed she had moved on and has a new guy. I was devastated. I have been suffering from depression and anxiety. It caused me to act out
by trying to win her back. I poured my heart into a lot of messages and finally she called and invited me to counseling. So we went and I told her that I wanted to reconcile. A few days later she agreed and we started talking again.
I told my parents about my intentions and they were not happy. They have been paying for me to get separated and start my life over again. They really made me feel terrible. So I relayed that back to her. She didn’t take it well and she just completely has shut me out as a result. At one point she was worried that her folks would kick her and the kids out of their house if they found out we were talking again. I didn’t realize just how much animosity they held for me.
Anyway, a lot has happened. Now she doesn’t want anything to do with me. She has basically shut me out of her life and wants the divorce. I’ve even gone as far as to see my lawyer and discuss dropping it all together. I miss my wife terribly and just want to reconcile and fix what’s wrong with us. She is the light of my world, my beautiful bride.
Her Mom, Lee, had sent me a message telling me to leave her alone, She said that I’ve hurt everyone in the family. Well, I just wanted to say that “I’m sorry”. This is something that I have to live with every day of my life. If it goes all the way thru to the end with the divorce, then I’ll end up spending the rest of my life regretting my actions. I have laid it all at the cross and I continue to pray every day for a miracle. I continually pray for God to soften her heart and her parent’s hearts so that we can find a place of redemption and common ground. I never intended for things to turn out this way. All that I want is to love Heather and the children and raise them as a Godly man. The best husband, the best father, and the best possible man that I can be.
So in conclusion, “I’m sorry “. I hope that I can regain your trust and good energy. I’m a broken and flawed, imperfect person.
Please Lord help me.