I haven’t talked to you. I feel shame to see you because I am ashamed of the things I have done. I am angry at you for not being there when I need you. I don’t understand what is going on and I feel like I will pay for my consequences. I miss when I was close to you when I could feel you next to me and when I slept without worry. I have lost hope in myself and my belief. My family is no longer a family. My life has changed for the worse, I do not attend church because it makes me feel uncomfortable, I live with my girlfriend and we have a lot of issues, My job is frustrating and I am very unhappy. I go to sleep every day miserable with the life I have now. I feel like everyday is getting worse and worse. It has been almost 2 years and it is still worse and worse. I do not know what to do. I want to surrender to you but I feel like I cannot trust you anymore. I wish I didn’t live sometimes and I can stop everything. It is so hard to live this way I feel like I am chained. I really do not know what to do. I have been alone for a couple years now and without any family member, my girlfriend does not understand me, I feel like no one understands me. I am in a huge hole and I see no way out. I feel like every night I am losing my mind. I just do know what to do. I need guidance, love, and you. Please help me.
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