Please Lord, I know that you have a place for me here on this earth and that everything has a time and place. During my recovery time after the babys death I did falter with my faith and at times I still do. That is a very hard ordeal to place onto any mother along with unanswered questions leading to the end of my first marriage due to memories. Now all of these years later still suffering from the loss of my son and having to struggle in almost every aspect of my life.
Thank you for my wonderful job and my son that indeed god sent. It is everything outside of those 2 things in my life that are terrible, husband that wont work or keep a job and expects me to basically support him or have an answer or solution for anything that comes our way, but yet not hard hearted enough to have him leave our lives knowing i can do bad enough on my own with our son. Lord, I am having all of these medical problems now and still expected to do everything the same and take up the slack. I just dont know if i can handle anymore on my plate. I use to look at myself as a very strong person and once its all written out i am nothing but weak internal and external.
I have many sins that I ask of your forgiveness for and a few might be unforgiveable, but I will continue to ask for it. Please help me along my way Lord and guide me. I dont know what else to do and am hanging on by a thread on sanity at this time.