Please help me pray so that i can receive the guidance that i need on whether or not to hold on in this relationship. I am in a Lesbian relationship (i know most of you would disagree with my preference but i really love this person so much so i hope you can somehow understand) we’ve been together for 10 years.
There were ups and downs in our relationship specially she has this habbit of having affairs with other girls. But though she has been like that she treats me more than anything i could ask for. Its like she couldn’t help it.
And now, she has having these guilt feelings over what she had done to me over the past years. She told me she wants to spend her life with me but she’s scared that she might just hurt me over and over because of her unfaithfulness. There was a time that she just want to let me go so that she wont hurt me anymore. But i refused. I insisted to stand by her no matter what and i told her we’ll get through this. But it made her more confused and increased her guilt.
Now, she spends less time with me and she’s been drinking a lot lately. To add up to thar , she’s now experiencing family problems and it just worsens the case. She said that as of now she just wants to do everything that she wants or whatever she feels like doing but asked me to wait until she’s ready to commit herself again with me. But promised me that it will just be me that she’ll be spending the rest of her life with. And she just wants to have time to herself for now.
As much as i dont want to let go, there’s nothing i could do but to give her what she wants. This situation is driving me insane. I so scared that eventually ill end up losing her for good. I know she’s having a hard time too coz she’s asking me to find her a professional that can help her figure things out. And as for me, i can see myself slowly falling apart day by day since then.
I dont know if i should just give it all up and not to hope anymore or if i should just give her time just like what she’ve said. I’m really hurting now. I wasn’t prepared for this. All the while i thought we can get past through everything just as long as we stand by eachother but i dont know if im just giving myself false hopes.
Please help me pray to have the guidance that i need. Please. And advices are very much appreciated.