My life, has been one filled with strife and hardships. Lack love, lack of finances, lack ofa wife’s love and admiration, lack of respect from my our other two children. I’ve led a bad life as a Catholic christian. I have offended My God in so many ways. I feel so isolated and alone but worst of all have dragged my wife along to a point in life where we are facing evection and homelessness. Me, 65 years of age and my wife, 61 years of age.
After the births of our son, and our daughter she became pregnant again. I, was maybe 27 years of age. We, were already just getting by on my paycheck and I became fearful, scared and afraid of how were going to afford to feed and raise another baby. Everything was already so-so tight and we had already had to leave our previous apartment (with our first child, our son). I told my wife she would have to abort the baby. I believe ris is when i started to lose my belief and my faith in GOD and allowed these evil thoughts into my mind.
My wife did not want the abortion but I kept on insisting and insisting and proving to her how we would not be able to afford another baby. She was so upset, sad, and unhappy. I can still remember the way her face used to look. Oh! how she wanted to have that baby but somehow I overcame and she unwillingly caved in to my demands and she went in. all by herself. So young, she was so beautiful and so innocent. She was so happy around our children and she would have been over the moon with the third but, I robbed her of this happiness and mine as well from then on to this day and probably ’till the day He calls for me. I, today feel that my decision made the devil very happy at the expense of my breaking God’s heart and at the expense of mine and my wife’s life of misery since then. I have wreaked so much destruction by aligning myself with the devil.
Committed so many sins. My other Big sin was being unfaithful to my wife when she, completely and wholeheartedly truste in me. I took her love and her trust away, I damaged her and I can’t ever fix it, ever. I lost her love, I lost trust, I lost her friendship…I lost HER, and I can never, never-never get her back. I lost my best friend EVER, and forever.
And so I ask My God to forgive me, if it is possible and I ask My God to bless and protect my wife, now and always. Amen.
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