My marriage, the third time since we got married 8 yrs ago, is failing. My wife always deserts home when there are disagreements. I concede that I also played a role by withdrawing because she would do one thing over and over again which was not good for marriage. She first left for 7 months within our second year of marriage.
She then left again on year 4 for 8 months. I filed for divorce and she asked for a second chance which I did as I believe in stability for my kids who then were 4 & 5 yrs old.
Now, after discovering her infidelity with her boss, she left which is now 8 months. Despite this, I extended an olive branch but she does not show any remorse nor want to talk about it. Instead, she will lash at me with Sms’s as if I am the guilty party. I thought the affair was a wake up call to say the marriage was in trouble and needed to be addressed. She filed for divorce, stopped but since she says she does not want to come back, I filed for divorce and she is defending. She left a voice mail on receipt of the summonses telling me that I humiliated her at work as now everybody knows that I am divorcing her.
When she leaves home, is it not humiliating to me and the kids? I am grateful I am staying with them but maintain, I wish for a complete family unit. I ask for Restoration of my marriage. I never had a father, she grew up an orphan and God blessed us with cars, jobs, beautiful kids but no happiness. We go to church, she recently became a Born Again but her behaviour baffles me. Some psychologists think she is suffering from BPD and if so, willing to be there for her if she can admit and go for therapy. I once asked her but she just ignored me.
I pray for my kids, wife, marriage restoration, to be a good husband and father, my wife to be a good mother, wife and our care giver.