Heavenly Father, thank you for being my Sovereign God and for the sacrifice of Your Son my true Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I have confessed by sins and thank you for the blood that covers them. I ask the You would reveal Your plans and purposes for my life.
I pray about New Year’s Eve and the holidays. You have been so wonderful to carry me through my utter grief, shock, trauma, and confusion of losing my partner Bobby to suicide on New Year’s Eve. You have intervened with the image of finding him hanging so that now I see you . I know I will never be the same again, yet You helped my put on a garment of praise and trade my sorrow.
However, I do not know how to continue with more courage, determination and faith this season with the flood of memories and all that was said in Your name. I have felt so forsaken and betrayed but in a lot of solitude with You, I am grateful that you make beauty for ashes. Time and time you have given me grace. I ask that you would help me get through my studies; I am not lazy Father, I feel wounded and unable to read and figure things out from my mind trying to comprehend the incomprehensible. I have several loans to pay back and I need earning capacity to not be in debt the rest of my life. This is critical now.
I also pray that my brother be released from mental illness of 26 years. It is so sad and tragic to see him on so much medication like a zombie and live a wretched life of idleness. I come against that spirit of idleness that has even been contagious to me in my psychological pain, that grip of fear that it is not going to let go, ever.
Release us all, my family from fear and mental anguish/torment/worry, help us to let go, especially my mother. I pray a strong man in my mother’s life as well to understand her situation and help her to find joy in her latter days with a true partner to love her, for all the sacrifice she has made.
I pray, finally, for restoration in my life. I pray that the desire of my heart come through.
I have found someone special and I pray, if it is Your Will that I be with this person perhaps through the holidays soon and on New Year’s Eve to physically hold me such that all the shattered pieces of my heart finally are mended in the natural on this critical night, where a year before I was trying to give CPR to a dead man while the world was celebrating and he was pronounced passed. Ouch.
I ask you also release Keith K. from his situation and grant him freedom to move forward since it does not appear to change and completion. I pray him promotion and provision for his steadfast faith. Close the distance between us, somehow someway, the miles not just for us, but such that we can also be your actors in this world and bring joy.
I do not think it coincidence he answered to comment of what I wished to take back on Intentional Living- which was to take back that horrible night. I am grateful that he is a man that displays your character and function Lord. None of us asked to be walking this road we are on in abandonment. Come quickly oh Lord, for hope deferred does make the heart sick, but the tree of life brings desire.
I pray mercy and grace upon the lives of those who are also praying this prayer today. I do not want to ever lose a contrite and humble spirit and I love you Jesus. Thank you for providing miracles in my life in advance, for they are my reality. Thank you for giving me divine determination to finish this overwhelming amount of academic work to grant me the qualifications for a new job where I am thriving and not bored. In Jesus mighty name.