possible childhood trauma

by Flossy ()

I’m struggling with a drug addiction that I’m trying to keep hidden. I hate who I have become. I hate myself for working where I do with this addiction. That alone I feel might damn me. I have chronic untreatable depression for 20 years now and suicidal thoughts are daily for me. Recently I was trying to do shadow work and heal myself….I think my father might have molested me when I was really young. It would explain the course of my life and why it spiraled the way it has and most of my other issues with intimacy and abandonment and shame and self destructive tendencies. I don’t know who to talk about this with. I don’t know what to do with this information. I feel more alone than ever. I wish I would just die. I wish my issues would bury me. I can’t take this. I can’t handle all these burdens. Please pray God helps me. I need to find hope really fast because I can’t do this much longer.

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