Literally 49 minutes ago I watched Cartoon Pornography, also known as Hentai. During this music randomly played and I felt it was God stopping me, but my urge forced me to press the play button. Afterwards I felt nothing but guilt and as if I was falling into a hole to hell. I begged for Gods help and the angels of my family, but I felt nothing. I recently had a dream about me getting cancer. Later on I prayed to God that I would try my hardest to stop watching porn if he could stop me from getting cancer. I feel now that I’ve blown my chance and that God hates me.
I wish I could tell my Mum, but I could not bare the consequences, I feel my life is worth nothing. I need help. Please help me, I have nothing left, all my chances have been blown. Please I beg for help, I can’t take this any longer, I need strength, I BEG FOR HELP! I’m only 14, I can’t carry on like this, all my hope has gone. PLEASE HELP ME.