I struggle with a relationship. I am fighting for it for about 5 years but still it is not as good as I want it to be. I dont know if I really love this man and I always want to change him. But in the same time I am kind of bound to him and I can not really let him go. I tried it before and it was aweful. But I am not really happy. And I struggle to see everyone around me beeing so blessed and it feels like I am “far behind them”. I don’t want to campare myself with them and I want to be happy for them with all of my heart. And I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend but I really struggle with all of this right now. I am so sad, tired, afraid and angry of god and I don’t see a good perspektive for my life.
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