Peace from Anxiety & Fear

by Tamara ()

Dear Lord, please help me to put my full trust & faith in you.. especially once I have prayed to you, let me let go of my fears, make my thoughts stop racing, make my anxiety, panic attacks, & stress leave me. I have so much to take care of.. I feel so overwhelmed dear Lord. It has only gotten worse since my husband of almost 20 yrs died of pancreatic cancer in 9 months (18 months ago), leaving me with my 18 yr old daughter (who is getting ready to go to university in the fall), my 85 yr old mom with early stages of dementia, my 13yr old niece & 5 yr old nephew I’m adopting after 3yrs of being their guardian, because my brother (who is married to my husband’s sister) are both addicted to heroine, they’re homeless, & have not tried to contact their kids or get help for their addiction for 3 yrs. Now, because they won’t sign over their parental rights, I can’t move with them to the State my daughter with be going to University at, for a new start for all of us. I am disabled & unable to work, on full disability due to an operation in my back, a disc-fusion, & also a total left foot operation that left me with a titanium plate in it with screws, in addition to 11 other operations.. resulting in my chronic pain. My husband worked for LabCorp for 32yrs as a driver before becoming terminally ill, & after missing 150 consecutive days due to stage 4 terminal pancreatic cancer, the life ins co denied the death claim & refused to pay the policy after he passed away, due to a technicality (while my husband was terminally ill, I was unaware that he have been sent paperwork from the life ins co that he had to complete & return in order for our family to be given the life ins amount after he passed away). After emptying our savings account to pay for the funeral, we were left financially with only my monthly disability, Medicare, Medicaid for the children, & will now have to apply for food stamps. Then the pandemic, which has impacted everyone dear Lord, adding additional anxiety, “normal” life as we knew it no longer exists, for more than a year, the children home schooling, basically everyone home 24/7. I don’t know what else to do. My anxiety & depression literally leave me exhausted from crying, thinking constantly of how to keep our family together and going in a positive direction, physical, mentally & emotionally. Please help me Lord, if it be your will, help me also with patience, that I accept your will as you see fit the best for my family and me as well in your time. I thank you for your forgiveness, each day of life, and for everything we have, all of our blessings we have especially your love.. in your precious name I pray, amen 🙏🏼

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