Pain in my soul

by Shonda ()

The toughest warfare for me consist of mother’s day. Every year my heart, mind and soul listen to God’s intructions to lavish women on that day with service being rendered through scripture, & songs that minister 2 the heart in order to break the brokenness to receive his strength through there soul. Afterwards I give them a banquet full of fresh soul food, entertainment from the youth & gift baskets. With my hidden motive and agenda being, “to show what God’s love feel and look like.” Every year after this day my mother ends up in the hospital 2 or 3 days later like clockwork, with it always being a life or death issue but miraculously for the last five years she always pulled through. This particular year my mom had been in a nursing home and unable to sit up to sit in a chair, but she was persistent in making it to church for mother’s day. Long story short after 7 months of physical therapy my mom showed up to my surprise at church sitting in a wheelchair, tears streaming down her face of Joy. From being confined 2 a bed and inside a building she was finally able to be out and about. I just knew she was on her way back home, but sad to say 2 days later a turn for the worse and this time May 21st 2019 my mama passed and everything tells me I’m the blame. I always said it’s a personal attack of satan because I watch lost souls give there lives to Christ & I refuse to bow down to him. “That’s my belief.” My heart is shadowed in a million pieces and my soul is crying. Why so much pain? 2nd Does God condone our holidays even though they’re not biblical.

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