No children

by Naomi Smith ()

I’m 28 years old and never had any relationships till now. I was very happy meeting my partner as I had prayed for so long to find someone and it never happened. I always felt angry towards god for leaving me feeling alone and no matter how hard I have tried go have a relationship with him I still feel alone and never feel i
his presence. Recently my partner has said he never wants kids which has left me feeling broken and hurt that I may never be blessed with a child. I had a lonely childhood as my father left and moved away when I was 2 and my mother struggled to cope and my upbringing was somewhat unsettling and lonely. I’ve always longed for a family of my own because of this and now that may never happen. I’ve started feeling resentful to god again as I’ve spent my life lonely and will end up spending my future lonely too. I feel bad that I am so upset and hurt by this as I know there are people out there with all sorts of illnesses so I don’t have the right to feel sad. I feel bitter to god that he has never reached out to me and leaves me lonely. I’m desperately sad and no matter how much I love my partner there is a hole still. I pray to God what to do but hear nothing. Im scared I will loose my partner and be alone again and I’m so desperately sad Ive plunged into a depression and finding it hard to work

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