Mother of five. Started out really young and had three different fathers for my children by the time I was 23. I was married and divorced by age 18 to daddy 1 and daddy two didn’t even bother to marry me. Dad of children 3,4 and 5 cheated most of the marriage, lost our home and left me to raise all five making 10 an hour. I went back to school and married a Christian man with no kids who hurt me more than all the others. He would pack up and leave us for days and talked about me horrible bad to people, made me loose my next home I worked two jobs to put me and my children into then he moved away for three years and I’ve been without my own home since. I make around 100k a year but bring home only 65000 a year – most of it I give away to my children that can’t make ends meet. I begged God during my last two marriages to make us a family. I read the scripture daily to my children and always had them in church. I literally begged God for something close to family life. I am now living with a man I left the last one for. He gives me a home but won’t propose so I am much like the woman at the well. These children that I prayed over daily, read the Word to daily and took to church are now grown. The oldest now in rehab but pours the word into his children and tries really hard, the second works hard and financially successful but doesn’t take his children to church, the third is nearly 30 but no job, my only daughter just found out she’s pregnant but not married and the youngest just had his first baby and struggles to pay his bills, been in legal trouble and verbally lashes out to me because things aren’t going as he hoped. I have beautiful grandchildren I love but I don’t have my own home for them to visit me in. My recent ex husband wants me back really bad but he was not nice at all to me and my heart sees him more like a brother at this point. The only reason I would go back is to keep from disappointing God anymore than I already have. I have literally watched women scoff and complain about the kinda family life I begged for. To this day I have never even been proposed to. Not one of these men have thought enough about me to commit to me. They either left me pregnant or married me only because I kept asking them to make me a wife since I was trying my best to be like one. I work hard, try to stay fit and people tell me I am beautiful all the time but I want to be cherished . I want to go home wherever that is. I want to be forgiven. I want to honor God. I want my children to live for God , be able to provide for themselves and have healthy relationships and family’s. I want them to remember the many prayers I preyed over them. I hope God will remember too. I hope my children will look to their Creator and seek Him first, remembering the hundreds of nights I read them the Word. I have family and friends who’s children go to church find jobs and relationships that look way more like what I prayed and worked hard for. These people didn’t read to their children daily like I did. Reading the Word to my children every night was not easy when I was working two jobs and going to college. Please pray for my family. Pray God will help me where I am right now, homeless, living with a man who I am not married to but who treats better than the others though he doesn’t want to marry me. One may ask how I can ask God to help me when I know I’m living in sin. I don’t think He should but like the Samaritan women at the well who knew she wasn’t worthy for Jesus to speak to, I come to the Well. I am thirsty. I want to be redeemed but I have to live somewhere while on this earth. I begGod to redeem my children. I’ve been a mother since I was 16 and now heading to nearly 53 I look back in my prayer journals and it’s the same cry, the same despair day after day, month after month and year after years of prayers for His rescue. The Word says hope deferred makes the heart sick. May God have mercy on me and my children though I don’t deserve it. I need Him, I really need Him
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