Dear God, I need You now more than ever before. I am going to my brothers funeral tomorrow. That means I am alone. I have lost so many people I love over the last ten years, my brothers, sister, uncles and aunts, my beloved mum, friends, cousins and a nephew to suicide. I am feeling so lonely. My partner of 13 years left this year because he decided he loved alcohol more than me. I even tried to help him but his mother and brother are vile people who have persecuted me in my Christianity. I still hope he’s okay. Then after losing so many and I have a daughter who only needs me for money and puts me down. Tried to make me commit suicide at one point. I have two beautiful grandkids who she uses to blackmail me. She is truly toxic and yet I still show her love and caring. I would cut her out of my life if it wasn’t for my beautiful grandkids who show me so much love. So now I’m truly alone. I feel isolated and the few friends I have now although have good intentions are involved in a world I escaped from a long time ago. Drugs and alcohol and I don’t want to be part of that, but these people are the only people who have shown me true friendship despite their own problems. I am blessed with a house, rented of course but still mine, I have a lot of skills but just as I started to come out of my grief my brother died three weeks ago. Tomorrow is his funeral and although we haven’t seen each other for a while he is still my brother. It is still more pain. When I tried to talk to my daughter she said the classic. “Oh it’s all about you.” No it’s not it’s all about others I love who have gone. I had some money for a while and helped others now I’m struggling again and I need the Lord to take away my fear. I need GOOD people in my life who love me for me. I feel like the little girl who lost her daddy 35 years ago and was bullied at the same time. Please God help me see that there is a point to life. That even though I am older my skills are needed. My health improves and You are there for me. That I will live a good prosperous life. Speak to me God, I need You. Show me love Jesus, restore me and forgive me my sins.
Thank You whoever prays for me. If not this message is being sent out into the ether for God to see.
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