Need Help, Need love I get neither!

by Valerie ()

Hello, Your post category ( the drop down box) is hard to decide b/c I have more than one issue.
I have an addiction it’s porn. Since I never married, no one not Mom, Dad nor anyone discussed the topic of sex with me as a young teen so I knew nothing well into the adult years so this is the result.
I’m at a crossroads, I live in Washington State. WA state is the worse place for a Black woman b/c it’s pretty much like Wonderbread land here, and Black women aren’t well received here. I’ve lived here most of my life. During certain decades there was tolerance but then BAM an uptick in racial hate.
Can’t up & leave due to :
Lease will expire next year.
I want to move to New Orleans there is a good college down there & I hope to move for a job as well. My Mother is from there, I would be a better fit there. There are lots other cultures I could mix with. I need prayer to help me with a smooth safe journey, financing & an overall happy life. See, I’m afraid that if I continue to stay in Washington state and I’ve already wasted precious years of my life here, I’m so afraid that I could die alone.
This is why I feel ( perhaps it maybe God sending me a msg) that I need to be proactive, take a chance, even though it will cost money. Need prayer for that as well. See, I think that I’m starting down a dark rabbit hole so I need to start making some life changing decisions for the better!
Had a cousin who simply gave up, he had health problems (renal) but since his own life was going down the tubes he simply drank himself (and ate sweets , along with smoking cig’s) till he died of a heart attack.
I learned from his life. That I don’t wish to end up like him.
Pls pray aggressively for me.
Thank you
PS I am a bit advanced in age so that is why the concern for my future.

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