I need an answer from my Lord.
God, my heavenly father, please save me from these pains.
I had to leave my only sister whom I’d always wanted to protect from evil relatives. But you soon sent me a guy who leaded me back to Church, in the opposite side of the earth. We fell in love each other. I don’t think it was an accident. With him, I could come back to Church, to your arms after 15years of wandering. I wanted to forgive all and start new life with him. He was the first and only guy I have ever tursted and loved. We talked about marriage but he wasn’t in a good condition to support us. I had to come back to my country with Visa problem, after then he abandoned me. I don’t know the exact reason. He just said me that he had never loved me… He said that he prayed for me everyday but he didn’t want to come back to me.
Father, why do you still leave your daughter in these pains? My parents deny me, sometimes saying they want me to die. My personnal doctor gave me the test result with a critical problem in health. My parents cut all the financial support and give me verbal abuse. Some of my friends left me but the other friends try to protect me and stay with me but we don’t know what to do.. I just got a job opportunity to go back to the country of my ex, with limited time… but when I gave him this news and asked him if God had given him any message, he answered me No and he said that it’s not your will that we start again.
God.. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat.. I couldn’t walk… with serious heart pains. I often fell down on the streer with diziness… I prayed you every day and night reading your words from the Bible.. but my Lord, I can’t see anything about my future. Here is just deep darkness. I thought that you had answered to my prayer with a job opportunity, but my ex said that he had never given any message fron you….In addition, a friend whom I always have believed as your good servant from Church, demanded my body to satiafy himself… because I am abandoned girl by my ex? How t could his kind of thing happen? I was so shocked. There are so many bad guys.
I need my ex back. Even he abandoned me, It is him, there must be a reason for him. He even said he loves me and God will protect us just two days before our breakup! I could know for the first time in my life… I really believed you had sent him for me.
I want to get him back…
But now, he never contacts me, some of our common friends said that he looks totally happy without me .. His family members who often talked with me with support don’t contact me anymore…
A few days ago, I cut my wrist, crying and asking you why you don’t answer my prayer… I don’t want to die.. I want to live in you, God.
Please at least let me know your will. I will follow it.. Because I know you always know what is the best for me. God.. My Lord.. I am too weak and sick. I can’t stand these pains..
I need your help. I can’t see anything for my future. Please let me know what I have to do. Please give me a wisdom to distinguish your saying fron the whispers of Evil things. Protect me my Lord, let me stay in your arms and never abandon me…