My HEAD is purposefully doing harm to me

(India)

My HEAD is purposefully doing harm to me. Last two months were vacation for me. But I didn’t enjoyed it just because the single moment of thinking about my work place spoiling whole day and life of myself and as a result my family

Just beginning of my vacation she assigned my work place which I kept ordered and systematically and neat ,to someone of her interest and I was assigned a place which was not systematic and items placed here and there .So I have to work a lot after the reopen next week.Head is the person who do purposeful harm. I am a person with severe back pain and spondulytis.. I rally fear how I will sort out things without anybody’s help. Please please pray for me to get some help from others and get me strength to go for job.
I did a long time medical treatment by neurology department but even now I can’t sit or stand 10 minutes without severe pain. I suffer all this throughout day just because of financial need. Husband doesn’t have a proper job. Though I am late forties my son is on early teen age. I struggle to meet both end of life. Please pray for me