I am a student taking a master program at a University. I am currently facing a very nearly approaching deadline of thesis submission and I am very far from ready. My progress has been terrible because of many things such as bad time management, bad priority management but overall, there were other priorities in life that I had to deal with. On top of that, I also have big projects coming up at the same deadline.
This period has been tough for me because I have been away from friends and family. Sometimes when I spend time with friends, I feel guilty because I could have used the time to study instead. I am also not in a good shape because I just broke up with my partner. Everything seems to be falling apart and I am losing my strength. In addition, I have always been the student who strives for excellent grades, thus, on top of all the mess above, I have my own self-made threshold of excellency that I still aim to achieve, which sometimes produces more worry and anxiety than motivation, thus becomes counter-productive to my overall progress.
My relationship with God has been terrible. I have not been very religious lately, although I know I am supposed to. I do a lot of sins and I always feel guilty that I come back whenever things fall apart, and I have no where to go. I know I have ended up in this kind of situation before as well. Leaning on God for his mercies and grace that I don’t deserve. I am like a naughty child who keeps on doing the same mistake. Only comes back to Father when everything feels like hell.
This morning I finally cried for at least 15 minutes and my head hurt because of it. I normally don’t cry but I can’t take it anymore, I just need to release my feeling. I will try to keep on doing what I can do. However, for those of you out there, I would be very grateful if you could help to pray for me. I don’t deserve any of God’s love and kindness for all the sins I have made. I don’t deserve any of your kindness and prayer as well, but I sincerely ask out of desperation, help me by praying for me, for I, believe in miracles, and I know just the one who can make the best miracle out of every mess: my ever-forgiving Father, My God, My Lord, Jesus.
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