May I see the light and find hope in my heart again

by Alejandra ()

Dear magnificent lord,
Thank you for all the blessings I have been fortunate to experience in my life. I don’t want to be ungrateful, I find myself in an ever increasing loveless marriage/union that continues to deteriorate daily. The energy between us in very negative and does not honor or uphold the values of love or marriage. It is not a sacred union and our souls are poisoned by terrible feelings and emotions. Everyday this continues in my life I feel undeserving of your love as I don’t feel I am living a holy life by continuing to stay in this toxic dynamic that I just don’t know how to change. I am not living my best life and I am not being the best version of myself. The relationship and the course my life has taken leave me empty and hopeless. I want to be closer to you and the less I feel love and harmony in my life the further away I get from you. I try my hardest to be a good human being and practice love and forgiveness but I find myself at a place where anger and resentment are finding their way into my heart much easier than love and compassion. My husband has his own struggles and lessons to learn but I am
exhausted and hopeless. I don’t believe we come to this realm to feel this way. i want to be my positive, happy, loving self again and not feel sad and alone all the time. We have been together for 8 years and he won’t even be intimate with me, for a very long time. I have no affection in my life and the sadness and loneliness are making me be a person I dislike. If we are not going to get it right and the relationship will only bring us unhappiness, please let us find a way to go our separate ways and understand that we belong somewhere else and if we are to stay together please help us find a way and give each other love to them spread
to the world.
Thank you God.

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