My marriage is very broken. I have been married for 41 years as of May 1, 2023. I have been with this man for 43 years. He and I have separated in the past for small periods of time he went astray did things on the Internet met women, and I thought I had forgiven him. I don’t think I have. I was no angel. After putting up with physical mental and verbal abuse three times throughout my marriage I had stepped out against my husband.. I have tried for years to do the right thing the last 20 years I have plans with my husband cater to him and did what I thought was right. I had asked God to tell me what to do and he told me forgive and serve my husband as a wife should. I have dumbness, but daily he comes at me, calls me, filthy, dirty, memes, that I will not mention accuses me of being with this man, still knowing that I do not speak to him at all. I know for a fact a year ago he was with a 35-year-old while he was 63. He will talk to other women laugh, carry-on one time I watched as he was having a conversation with someone he had worked for… He has his own contracting business, and at night he works in mental health, how ironic isn’t it? I watch as he spoke to this woman that he has worked for many times a woman younger than I, I pulled up in my new, bright red minivan pulled off behind his brothers place where they park he was in the middle of the road talking to this woman as I sat there, and he didn’t even notice I was there. He was leaning all up inside her vehicle, laughing having a good time he’s so nice and kind to others, especially other women, and I cannot even carry on a conversation with him after I get in a couple words, and I even try to talk about anything he will speak up and tell me I am not allowed to talk if I say anything that is in disagreement with the way he thinks he will stand up, screaming at me. Call me names go outside in front of our neighbors scream nasty sexual things about me, and other men that certainly are not true. I at this point I am just very embarrassed. I don’t even wanna show my face in this neighborhood. I try to leave and he begged me to stay told me he loves me. He would control himself it would be different. Less than a couple of hours he was back to the same routine. Not only does he disrespects me. He will scream at my kids who are grown adults and have their own family and will gossip about one to the other one and vice versa. I have one daughter, who was really sick by her dad side no matter what the other daughter will not get involved either way which is the way it should be. Two of my adult sons do not say a word or get involved. My youngest that just got married May 6, 2023, but has been with this young woman , for eight years, he works for his dad and his contracting business he will always stick up for his dad, but tells me he doesn’t want involved lets his dad talk about me and say nasty things in front of the other workers ,
I was there to witness, and he will not speak up and say a word. This hurts but yet my son will stand and tell me to my face if I even speak one tiny word against his dad that he’s not getting involved as I said, this is the way it should be but yet he will let his dad behave the way that he does in front of everyone and not try to speak and say a word in my defense. He never left me work throughout the marriage. He had always wanted me to stay home with the children and raise them, we had three children all in a row waited nine years I had a daughter that I had a tough pregnancy with and then we waited another six years and when I was 36 I gave birth to my youngest son. I was bedridden from the time I was four months pregnant and on , I had like clots I was on heparin injections multiple times a day I was only allowed up in a wheelchair. I’m not allowed to walk on my legs so when my son was born, he had physical complications. He had a physical and a occupational therapist coming in to times a week until he was past being a toddler. They taught me things to do to help his muscles strengthen and grow told us to put them in every sport and swimming would be a great thing for him to do. He excelled in every sport that he played baseball football basketball swim every day during the summer he was always a mama’s boy. That is the one that I feel has turned against me and my heart is broken. I feel as though my marriage is over I don’t know what to do just tired and hurt from the daily verbal and mental abuse and I also don’t know how to deal with my children as adult children. I need prayers for guidance for my lips to be closed when things should not be said, please pray for only God’s words to come from my mouth, help me to stay strong Lord against the enemy, who is striking dead on in my life