I feel broken. I feel like I will never be at peace in my life. I recently found out my husband of 30 years was having an affair and was for many years with this person. We have been doing several classes at our Church to help our marriage but in our classes I found out he has been cheating on me since the day we got married with multiple women. It makes me feel so worthless like I was never enough for him. And now he says I am . Now that he sees me thru God’s eyes because he recently got saved. But I struggle everyday with my worth.
2. The person who got me thru my suicidal thoughts when it all happened committed suicide earlier this year. Need prayers to understand how God would let people feel so unloved to think this is the only way out of pain and suffering. I lost my person 😞
3. Just a few months ago my God fearing Father, who only listens to Christian music and watches sermons all day and preached to us everyday stabbed my older sister to where I almost lost her. She’s alive with scars all over her body and face and my dad that I love dearly is in jail. I’m stuck in the middle because I love both of them. I hate what my father did but I can’t hate him. He is batteling with mental issues and I hope the court can see that. He is a loving and kind man that this shocked our whole family. My sister is not happy with my other sister and I because we still care for my Dad . But I love him so much. He lived with me my whole life , even while being married for 30 years so I know my father.
My mind, my heart, my soul are so lost or completely broken. All of this happened in less than a year and a half.
I put on a smile daily so people think I am ok. But I honestly feel defeated in all aspects of my life. I feel like God has left my family or he has stopped fighting for us and has left me to fight for all us and it is too heavy for me. I fight just to get out of bed daily. I know if I stay in bed I will definitely go in a state of mind of not wanting to wake up again. So I stay busy. I sleep 3 to 4 hrs a day so I don’t feel like the enemy has won. I am still fighting but my sword is heavy and can use alot of prayers.
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