I need to forget and forgive my partners past many lovers. And the things he did with them. I am no angel. But I can’t let this go, I see it in my minds eye all the time ! Its hurting the way I feel towards him. I love him very much. But I’m scared he will not feel the same towards me and leave me! I don’t want to be used as a piece of rag, of sexual attraction only. I want a loving relationship with him. But then I see them in my head. I guess I doubt myself a lot. Not coming up to his standards. I wish I never asked this question. Sometimes I wish, I never had sex ever ! And that we met sooner, so he wouldn’t have had so many ! But I can’t turn time back. I must face it head on dear lord. Help me, to overcome this feeling. Please, heavenly father I am so sad, and depressed. I think he will not come home to me. He is at war. And I’m afraid he is hiding the truth from me. Maybe he is talking to other women, or even having a relationship with someone there. I give up dear lord ! Help me ! Amen !
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