Is God real? are we actually alone? losing my faith

by Dee ()

I need humans to stay faithful, Jesus was a servant, He was an amazing human being with the most special soul in eternal history; I know that.
Yet, I am losing faith in God – I married my husband because I thought God chose him for me, I left a VERY good country with excellent healthcare to come to the USA where the healthcare sucks to no end, and bankrupts people — now I’m stuck or trapped in America and cannot go home to get some health care that is urgent .. .and here I have no health insurance now because we are not working and who the heck can afford $400+ per month when you have no freaking income!!! I am very upset and I am wondering why would God do this to me ? I trusted God to take me to this place with thim and this stupid virus which i think is fake — there ARE a lot of people dying not from the virus but from the fear FEAR which has stopped the whole world because people didn’t wash their hands or have good hygiene… I have good hygiene habits and now … I am going to die inside of 30 days if I don’t get surgery.. unless a freaking miracle happens, which God is so darn busy that if he actually exists — why would he help me? he’s too busy with everyones fear! is God omnious? Alpha and the Omega?
NO priest or pastor has been able to answer me, they are more scared than their congregations… that doens’t scream Faith to me, it tells me that there may not be a god.
I am frustrated – I have asked God for so many things to help me with life, but is he there? I am a good christian I am not old enough to die! it’s a simple surgery and yet, I might die because American’s don’t want one thing that would benefit everyone .. social healthcare, the one thing that should be social! Freedom is not real in the USA… I might as well just buy a gun and shoot myself.. it won’t be as painful as the pain I will have to embark!! Where is Jesus for me ?

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