I want to live

by John ()

I am 51 and I have never lived a day, I have never felt joy, love or hope. I have been alone through my whole life even when I was surrounded by people, i am always apart from them. I see God’s beauty everywhere, painted across the sky, in the trees and fields, the light shining on the water and it saddens me as if it was not meant for me to see. I pray for the The Heavenly Father to forgive me for the many sins that I have done that I can’t forgive myself and to allow me the joy that can only come from the Holy Spirit but it never comes, what am I doing wrong? or are some just too far gone?

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