I see how powerful prayer can be. Steven has show recent changes of WANTING to better himself in his life. I believe he is on his way to recovery. I pray that is his path towards his hapiness that he will discover in ackloedging and accepting the truth, especially when it comes between our friendship and relationship.
He has already decided to cut back on drinking (hooray), but now I am witness to his struggle and temptation with women. We have been together off and on since January. The truth is I didn’t want him. But After getting to know him I see his full potentional. I have been the only constant in his life up till this point and still stand by my promise of unconditional love for him. Now the stuggle…. I recently found out there is another woman who has entered the picture. I am well aware of who she is as I don’t know her or have met her personally. My gripe is this. Steven hurt me by lying about messing around with her and finds it neccesssary to defend her to me explaining why she is amazing. I comfronted him last night regarding this issue and made my line in the sand. What I told him was “Simply put if she is better or more compatible than I then go for it and see where it takes you. Should you chose her you set me free and everything I am leaves you.” I can see the struggle of convictions in his face and he wreastles with the choice of losing me or keeping me in his life.
I pray for the truth Lord and to make sense of it all. I stay because I genually care and love for him, but I cannot stay with someone who makes excuses for himself to have an out when things go awry. I pray for the truth between and that we both figure out where we want to take the next step. In my heart I know I am the right choice, but he needs to come to that conclusion himself. I have done so much and invested all my time into our relationship that I dont understand why he doesnt fell the same way. There is light at the end of this tunnel and I feel it is near. I see a peeking of hope in the distance. Show me the truth for you are the light Lord.